Wednesday, September 19, 2007

"Caaaaaaaawll me."

I actually remembered to have my cell phone on today, so I am sending vibes for an agent to call me. I’m telephonically incompetent, as anyone who has tried to reach me on the phone knows. In fact, I only recently learned our home phone number. Tim is better with the phone than I am, which isn't something he carries around like a badge of honor. It's like saying Tim is better at coloring within the lines then I am. It's not that impressive since I should have learned this stuff before I was allowed to graduate 2nd grade.

As evidence of our collective phone incompetence, we didn't check our voice mail messages for the first seven or eight months we lived here. Yea, seven or eight months. Most messages were from telemarketers with that pre-recorded message with the forced casual tone: "Hi, I'm sorry I missed you. Ahhhhh..... Your name was passed along to me as someone who may be interested in an exciting opportunity. Ahhhh..." The "ahhhhs" make me laugh everytime. They are very insincere "ahhs" seeing as the message is pre-recorded and being read from a script. It's even more insincere than the "ahhs" of an airline pilot trying to sound calm to keep passengers from freaking out "Ahhh.... you may feel a little turbulance. Ahhhh... and if you look out the windows on the right side of the plane....ahhh... you can get a nice view of an engine that recently fell off. Ahhhh....."

So today I am supposed to be writing, but instead I am checking my e-mail every two minutes hoping to hear from an agent who has my full manuscript. She would just be rockin' to work with. So here is a breakdown of my day:

Speaking of wasting time, this webcam that comes with the iMac has been a source of distraction and amusement. It has several Naked Lunch settings that Tim and I find to be much funnier than they probably should be.

Here is Tim as a husky alien:

Here is me as Ozzy Osbourne:

Here is the real Ozzy:

Scary, eh? OK, back to writing. No, really. Unless Cow wants to rematch on the staring contest...

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