Friday, May 27, 2011

Surgery Date Changed and Some Randomness

Just FYI… my surgery date has been moved to June 3rd. So we humbly ask that you take a moment on that day to say a prayer, light a candle, taunt a monkey… or whatever is a meaningful expression of faith for you. I just want some good vibes. I just hope they don’t slip and remove that part of my brain that overuses ellipses… because that’s my favorite way to trail off… How else can I express nonchalance and spaciness with the written word? What sort of blogger would I be if I were suddenly chalant and spaceless?

Anyhoo….

Please enjoy these pictures of the family watching a local t-ball legend (my nephew Harrison.) Here’s a fun fact about t-ball players: the size of the stains on their pants are proportional to their passion for the sport. Both my children are clearly impressed just to be in the presence of such athletic greatness. Yes, Ava, you can touch him. He IS real.





Finally, I’d like to close this post the coolest way I know how… with a ROCKIN’ recorder solo!!!!




Awesome.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

If our kids made motivational posters...








There.


I hope you feel adequately motivated.


Now get back to work. We need those TPS reports by 5:00.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Another Example of my Superior Parenting Skills

The best moment in this video is right after the playdough hits his tastebuds.




In case you were wondering, the joke I was trying to get him to repeat is at the end of this video.



"Tuba plus tuba equals fourba!" Ba-dum-bum!

It's his new favorite joke. Although he still very much enjoys his "not a hat" bit, we hope this is another sign that he is moving away from prop comedy. Unless your are Joel Hodgson, there is just no career that begins with prop comedy that won't end in tragedy. (Be careful out there, Carrot Top!! I hope you sleep with your eyes open. Or at least with eyes drawn on your eyelids.)

This is what happens when you let Hasbro do your eye exam.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Scientific Verification That I am “One in a Million”

OK, actually they say it is more like five in a million. Whatever. I am still super dooper extra special. That’s the main point here.

As some of you are aware, I’ve been dealing with a lot of health issues lately. I’ve been in hardcore test-o-rama mode since about January, and the good news is that I can finally stop. The doctors just gave up and won’t return my calls. Oh well.

Just kidding (although I may have been close to that point).

I have a relatively rare condition called Cushing’s Disease. I won’t bore you or gross you out with all the symptoms.

Here is a brief video to tells you the gist of it:



If you don’t understand ill-conceived metaphors based on available stock footage, try this one. It has newscasters and everything:




So I’ll be having surgery on June 10th. We are traveling to MD Anderson in Houston. Not a lot of surgeons have substantial experience treating this, so we had to travel to find a surgeon who wouldn’t try to repair me with duct tape and WD-40.

I have roughly a 70% chance of this surgery working. I like them odds. There are other options if this doesn’t work (possibly including duct tape and WD-40) but we’ll worry about that only if we have to.

My hospital stay will be brief - if all goes well, I should be out of there in four days. I am, however, expected to be a total load for at least a month afterwards. After a month… well, I’ll probably still be a load because, frankly, I enjoy the lifestyle.

Here’s a brief explanation of Cushing’s Disease if you are curious to learn more: CLICK HERE FOR LEARNIN'.


I know Our Dumb Blog readers have come to expect a certain level of “yar” in every post. So here you go:



(yar)



More news as it happens.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Shameless Yar and Assorted Shenanigans

"Not a Hat" Joke goes too far?



Father instructs his son on how to maximize comedy.



"I should have had an exit strategy."



Totally ready for driver's license.



Portrait of AWESOME.



Drool is a very hot accessory for babies this season.


Wait, stop. Why are we laughing again?



Small Child Manual Transportation Device(tm)



Bellies are exposed and kisses are blown.