Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Scientific Verification That I am “One in a Million”

OK, actually they say it is more like five in a million. Whatever. I am still super dooper extra special. That’s the main point here.

As some of you are aware, I’ve been dealing with a lot of health issues lately. I’ve been in hardcore test-o-rama mode since about January, and the good news is that I can finally stop. The doctors just gave up and won’t return my calls. Oh well.

Just kidding (although I may have been close to that point).

I have a relatively rare condition called Cushing’s Disease. I won’t bore you or gross you out with all the symptoms.

Here is a brief video to tells you the gist of it:

If you don’t understand ill-conceived metaphors based on available stock footage, try this one. It has newscasters and everything:

So I’ll be having surgery on June 10th. We are traveling to MD Anderson in Houston. Not a lot of surgeons have substantial experience treating this, so we had to travel to find a surgeon who wouldn’t try to repair me with duct tape and WD-40.

I have roughly a 70% chance of this surgery working. I like them odds. There are other options if this doesn’t work (possibly including duct tape and WD-40) but we’ll worry about that only if we have to.

My hospital stay will be brief - if all goes well, I should be out of there in four days. I am, however, expected to be a total load for at least a month afterwards. After a month… well, I’ll probably still be a load because, frankly, I enjoy the lifestyle.

Here’s a brief explanation of Cushing’s Disease if you are curious to learn more: CLICK HERE FOR LEARNIN'.

I know Our Dumb Blog readers have come to expect a certain level of “yar” in every post. So here you go:


More news as it happens.

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