Simulated Father

In Tim’s absence, I’m going to put up some pictures of him around the house. I’ve done extensive research (ok, one Google search) and read that pictures of the absent parent can lessen separation anxiety for a baby.



Me: See, Alexander? It’s Daddy! *pointing to picture*

Alexander: Hi, Daddy.

Tim: *silence*

Alexander: Dad seems flat and non-responsive. Hello? Are you OK?

Tim: *silence*

Alexander: Wait a minute. Who is that baby in the picture? That’s me! If I am there, with daddy… then…how am I seeing… where is… *cries due to irresolvable paradox*

Me: Maybe the pictures aren’t a good idea. Stupid Google. You made my baby cry! *shakes fist at Google*




Bear: I’ve got a paradox for you…well, it's more of a riddle. When is a high chair like a litter box?



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