Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanksgiving Mania gives way to Christmas Mania

Our guests politely ate their thanksgiving meal. No one made the universal choking sign, or the universal “My God this Turkey Tastes Like Pork” sign.

The day after Thanksgiving we went Christmas tree shopping with Mom and Dad. Mom miraculously found her perfect tree at the very first stop. In fact, it was the very first tree she looked at. Mom is much more particular about what makes a tree “perfect” as the infographic below illustrates:

I am much less particular:

Usually, I can find a tree much more quickly than my mom. Since mom had divine intervention this year, I was the one to blame for having to drive to every Menards in a two-county area. It was the tree-like shape criteria that was holding me back from committing. The problem was that most of the Christmas trees were being sold with this netting on them, so you couldn’t really tell their shape.

The netting was like tree panty hose. Once you cut off the panty hose, the tree still sort of held the panty-hose shape – so we had to shake it and use our imagination. Here is an action shot of dad shaking a tree:

(Obviously, this picture was taken before Menards security escorted him off the premises for assaulting trees.)

I thought Tim was going to lose his mind as every single tree we looked at looked adequate to him. Here is Tim’s criteria:

Even the small oak tree planted in the front lawn of the Menards looked like an excellent Christmas tree to Tim.

Finally, I did find the right tree. We took it back home and hung the lights on with care:

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