Captain Pushy Pants

Alexander went boating last weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. Naturally, he wanted to be the captain:



Impressive, eh? How many captains can steer a boat while doing the splits? (The answer is a surprising 2,631.) He even learned to emulate Grandpa’s teeth-gnashing squint... it's a good look for a captain.



Here’s a short clip of his boating adventures. Notice both how he pushes Grandpa’s hands away when Grandpa tries to help with the steering AND his incessant use of the pretend horn. Definitely a case of adorable road rage… er, lake rage.



Yar.

He enjoyed his new career path so much that he continued to steer the boat even after it had stopped.



I gotta go swab the poop deck. I have no idea what that means, it just sounds like something a mother would do... so off I go.

Kitties Take Over Baby Gear

The lines between kitty gear and baby gear are a bit blurry in our house. Is that ball for the cats to bat around or for the boy to kick around? Is that a toy mouse or a stuffed animal? Is that a litterbox or a sandbox? You get the idea... When enforcing feline-baby boundaries, you just gotta pick your battles.

So far there have been pretty equal territory violations with the babies getting into cat stuff and the cats getting into baby stuff at a similar rate. Recently, however, the cats have boldly taken over the baby bouncer and made sure that it is rarely available for bouncing babies:


Bear eventually kicked Cow out. Here you can see Cow in mid forced-dismount.



Won't someone please think of the children?

Well, don't worry. Ava has a new place to sit.


That's our big strong girl! Yarness.

Leaf and Twig Exhibit Now Open at Local Wisconsin Zoo!

We went to the Zoo!


We mostly saw logs and bushes behind fences. Alexander enjoyed it thoroughly, and tried to humor us as we starred at what appeared to be a shrubbery exhibition.


He especially like the train ride that took him around the parameter of the park as a disinterested staffer mumbled things like “there are supposed to be bears over there” into a failing PA system.



But perhaps his favorite exhibit at the zoo was the fou-fou (that’s “fountain”)… which, in the spirit of the zoo was enclosed behind a fence.



Ava had a very different response to the zoo. Something along the lines of this:



Yeah. She did that the entire hour drive there, 90% of the time at the zoo, and for the entire drive home. Oh, and for that 10% of the time when she wasn’t crying? She was very bored and put out.



(She’s never like her pacifier, but as you can see we were desperate enough to try it anyway. She’s sort of a “real deal” or nothing kind of gal. Fake nukkies are so very lame.)

So when we got home, everyone was exhausted. She got changed, nursed, and transformed into the happiest baby on earth. She gave Tim a long talking to:



And was just generally crazy happy to be back home.

Tumbling Mom Car

We finally caved in and bought a car that isn't a crapmobile. It's (a) not in the shop, (b) equipped to drive in both forward AND reverse, and (c) not on fire! It's a Toyota Sienna and it makes us feel all warm and squishy. Loved by soccer moms throughout the suburbs, and now loved by this guy:



(note: In case the title of this post confuses you... our kids are yet too young for soccer, but Bub is old enough for tumbling class.)

Random Yartography

Ava, Bub, and FAAAH!

This short video was taken in the context of me trying to sit down and file a few things that had been sitting on our kitchen table since… well, when was Garfield president? That question isn't actually relevant to the age of our unfiled paperwork. I just like to blurt our random trivia questions. Here are some President Garfield fun facts for you... To this day the white house cafeteria has Lasagna Fridays, in his honor. And we don't have to work on Labor Day or Memorial Day thanks to his passionate dislike of Mondays. President Garfield was total awesomeness!!

Anyhoo...Bub wasn’t too excited about being in his Fortress of Solitude and was very anxious to get back to free ranging. Plus, he was very excited about the fact that we just turned on the FAAAAH (“fan”). In the ten seconds I had when I should have been filing, I instead took this video so you all could see Ava's smiling face... and hear Bub's passion for fahs.

Here is a brief look into our lives right now...



Yarry, eh? The filing will just have to wait a bit longer. I’m thinking about dumping them all into a big box that says “shred” anyway. That's much more reckless and efficient - which is my organizational style these days.

hilarity

Ava had her two-month appointment today. She passed, and got "inspected by doctor #43523" stamped on her forehead. The doctor and I nerded out over her growth chart graphs, which looked great. She's 10 lbs 1 oz and 24 inches long - for those charting along at home.


Ava laughs now, and not just while sleeping anymore. It totally sounds like Marge Simpson giggling.

It.

Is.

Awesome!!

Things that make her 'go marge' include:
(a) making funny sounds while gently tapping her nose (only a 1% success rate, but totally worth 99 failures for 1 success)

(b) the moment before she is about to start nursing (which I am hoping is a giggle of happiness and anticipation... not something I should take as a response to an anatomical punchline)

(c) funny faces (but there is a line between funny and disturbing...)

(d) the mobile (the repetitious, slow circle of the mobile is a grim metaphor for life, but its juxtaposition with cheerful music makes her chuckle at the irony... you see, she's going through this sort of existential thing, wearing black turtleneck onesies and watching pretentious foreign films like "Bebe Einstein"...and....wait... no, she just likes the bright colors. My mistake.)

(e) 'cause unknown' - random laughs at seemingly nothing at all. One theory is that she has a funny and heartwarming internal monologue from her adult self playing in her head - you know, like in The Wonder Years. Maybe she sometimes has a laugh over the wry and nostalgic commentary of life in 2010. It's kitschy fun to remember 2010! Look at how big our computers are and how small our shoulder pads are and how absent our personal jet packs are...er...were...

Crap.

You know what? I'm trying to wrap my mind around the appropriate tense to use in discussing this... and I think I pulled something. Can you sprain your brain?? Ouch. How do I even Ace bandage this? Fred Savage, this is all your fault!!!!


No pictures or video for this post. Barely any real words either. Or complete sentences. If you have any questions or complaints regarding this post, please send an e-mail to our director of customer service, Cow. Since she is a very busy customer care rep, you may not get a response. Also she is a cat. Your comments are important, but so is staring out the window and, frankly, there is a squirrel out there... so ... yeah. She won't write back.

I promise more coherence and visual aids in the next post.

nice haircut, I must say

I knew it was time to cut Bub's hair when we could gauge the humidity based on the SJR Index. (That's the Sally Jessie Rafael Index) On an especially muggy day, Bubby's hair registered a 1991 on the SJR Index. Impressive, yes... but it was time to cut.



I waited until he was tired, strapped him into a highchair, gave him snacks and played an Elmo DVD. Those are my only tricks for keeping him distracted from my dangerous lack of scissor skills. Here are the results:

Before:


After:


Nice cowlick, Ed Grimly. Still, it's an improvement. He's cute enough to pull it off.





"Thanks, mom."

Hey, totally mental is the new black.

.

That's How She Rolls

Ava can now roll over! (I'll try to get video of it soon, however I can assure you it looks pretty much like you'd expect...just a little cuter.) She's also doing a lot of "talking", which started up last week. Her end of the conversation is mostly owl impersonations and the occasional "goo". Here's a file photo of Ava looking rather pleased with herself:


Not to be outdone in the milestone department, Alexander is EXTREMELY excited to now be able to reach the light switches. "Na! (on) Off! Na! Off! Na! Off! Na! Off! Na! Off!" The neighbors must think we're hosting a disco when they see the strobe lights... or maybe they are trying to interpret the morse code message Bub is flashing. (As a sidenote for those interested in learning a second language, 'na' is also Bubspeak for 'red' and 'one'. Yet he has 52 words for snow...fascinating.)

More news as it happens...or soon thereafter...or within the week anyway. All I know is that more ellipses will be abused ... (and parentheses overused) as soon as ASAP is possible!

No promises to make sleep as I am operating on very little sense.

Ba-bum-bump!! Thank you, GOODNIGHT!!