Our Dumb Blog: Happy holidays. Live long and prosper.

Christmas was pretty good this year. Dad managed to make it through yet another holiday without injury! This is year two, in fact! We need to update our Accident Free sign. Of course, mom would rather we just take it down. She said it's bad for spousal moral, despite what all those Factory Management textbooks say. Mom underestimates the power of signs, though, because we completely attribute the two-year safety record to the installation of this sign:

We visited mom and dad's house for Christmas. Alexander had a lot of fun getting to play with his cousin, Harrison, and just hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa. A ridiculously yummy dinner was served, after which we all had to loosen our harnesses a couple notches.

Unlike his lazy parents, Alexander's grandparents erected a beautiful Christmas tree with tons of lights and ornaments. His favorite ornaments included a lamb, a lighthouse, an old-timey radio that announced Santa’s impending arrival, a star (or “stah”), and a Star Trek shuttlecraft. Little known fun fact: Jesus was a Trekkie. When you press a button on the shuttlecraft, it says “Shuttlecraft to Enterprise, Shuttlecraft to Enterprise. Spock here. Happy holidays. Live long and prosper.” (I’ll let you guess how many times he played that. Whatever you guess, double that and then add a billion.)

Presents were opened and enjoyed. His top four favorite activities right now are scribbling, flipping through books, stacking blocks, and kicking/throwing a ball around. Any present received that fell into one of those categories was met with great enthusiasm. OK, really, ALL presents were met with great enthusiasm because there is nothing better than wrapping paper and boxes.

But one outside contender for favorite present (discovered by grandma) turned out to be a big hit. It’s an Elmo microwave. You may wonder what, exactly, that means. I understand your confusion. Strangely enough, it’s a pretend microwave that looks like Elmo. (I know this only leads to more questions, but stay with me here.) It has buttons to press, fake food to cook, Ren and Stimpy style music to play, AND it features the power to enthrall 16-month-olds. Yes, it's all that and more - and now with 50% less radiation!

OK, I don’t have a good picture of the microwave and I’m too lazy to go downstairs and take a picture. So here is one where you can see it in the background. Bub loves his dad’s guitar (which he calls a “tah”) and abandoned his microwave cookery momentarily for an opportunity to rock. (He gets that urge from his father.)

Do you see it back there on the chair? Here is a file photo I found on the Internets:

Ok, that’s not a great picture either. Geez, this thing is like Big Foot. Trust me, though, the Elmo microwave totally exists – and it is just as bizarre, yet strangely enticing, as you could possibly imagine.

Bub was so tired by the end of Christmas day that he gave in to his greatest nemesis: sleep. He fell asleep on grandpa’s lap, and it wasn’t even bedtime yet. This momentous event was caught on camera. Please enjoy:

GOING…