Put On Your Wild Speculation Spectacles

A photo from Mars has led to very creative speculations so I thought I should jump on the bandwagon. It’s way too boring to theorize that it is just a pile of oddly shaped rocks or a shadow. Theories I’ve read this morning have ranged from a naked woman to a mermaid to Bigfoot. Those are all worthy theories, but I’d like to draw my own half-baked conclusions.

Here is the picture:



In a very cinematic move, I used photo software to “enhance” the image. And I said “enhance” with every zoom and adjustment. Here’s what I got:





OK, here is my insane theory.


Ready?

Do you see the beard and the flowy robe? Do you see the gentle demeanor and Jewish good looks? That’s my man J.C.! (That’s Jesus Christ to those unfamiliar with attempts to make Christianity sound hip.) I mean if someone can see him on toast, why can't I see him on Mars?

Feel free to enhance the photo and draw your own conclusions. Maybe have a few drinks first. Or, even better, stay awake for four days straight before hammering out the details of your theory. Just don’t tell me they are rocks. You can do better than that.