Blue Interrogation

We’ve been trying to get our insurance all figured out. Today Tim had a phone call with Blue Cross Blue Shield. Although Tim has only been to the doctor twice in the last two or three years, they still wanted to know every detail about those visits before they’d decide if he is worthy of their fancy pants insurance. Tim is very healthy and pays far far more in premiums than he costs the insurance company. You’d think they’d be happy to take his money. No, instead they act like they are doing a huge favor to even consider offering him coverage. They flicked on the interrogation lamp and the conversation sounded something like this:

BC/BS Interrogator: What was the nature of your doctor visit on December 2, 2005?

TIM: I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

BC/BS Interrogator: What diagnostic code was used for your strained shoulder in summer of 2007?

TIM: Negative five?

BC/BS Interrogator: You do not amuse us, sir.

They also quizzed Tim about Alexander. One question jumped out as really capturing the essence of the entire interrogation. “Does Alexander smoke or use tobacco products?” If he could have, Tim would have responded with the sound of chirping crickets. That is all the response the question deserved.

It seems ridiculous to even ask if an 11-week-old baby smokes, but some infant must have posed for this ceramic figurine.