Alexander is doing adorably fine. Yar. He continues to be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. The pediatrician is concerned that he is ‘only’ 9 lbs 6 oz and not back up to his birthweight yet, so we have to feed him every 2 hours. The cause of poor weight gain? I was told my boobs are losers. That isn’t a direct quote, but that was the gist of it. I guess since I had so much physical trauma with the delivery, my Breastaurant is having a hard time keeping up with orders… so therefore when we feed him, we have to both breastfeed and supplement with formula.
Feeding every two hours means that is basically all we are accomplishing with our time. It takes about an hour to feed him (diaper change, breastfeeding on each side, then bottlefeeding). Then we have an hour to stare at the boy and wonder if we are already screwing him up. Then it is time to feed him again. We go in to the doctor tomorrow for another weigh-in, but if this doesn’t get his weight up I don’t know what will. I am considering adding some lead weights to his diaper just to get the doctor off our back.
As for me, I am getting stronger every day. I am now able to shower without passing out – so that’s a big accomplishment. I’ve deflated in a major way, so that is also exciting. I almost took a picture of my feet so you all could see the difference. They look almost bony compared to what they used to be. Also the swelling in my face, hands, and legs has almost totally disappeared. In fact, just 10 days after birth I had already lost 40 lbs – which is just a couple pounds shy of the total amount I gained in pregnancy. Obviously, this is just due to the swelling going away, but maybe I should take it as an opportunity to write a diet book. "How to Lose 40 Pounds in 10 Days" (Step 1: Get pregnant with giant baby. Step 2: Become pre-eclamptic and swell up like crazy. Step 3: Delivery giant baby and deflate.) (Not many diet books come with instructions on how to gain the weight you will lose on the diet... so maybe this is a whole new niche I can create.)
There are so many things it seems like we have already compromised on with our ‘good intentions’ on caring for the baby. For example, I never wanted to use formula or a bottle, but the doctor says it is necessary. Also, I never wanted to use a pacifer, but a bait-and-switch is sometimes the only way to get him to latch on. We also have the boy in disposable diapers, although I wanted to start using cloth right away – but the cloth diapers rub and irritate his umbilical cord so we have to wait on those. Theoretical parenting is so much easier than actual parenting. Ideals and good intentions sometimes have to get thrown out the window in the name of survival. Keep that in mind next time you find yourself shaking your head at some mom and dad at a mall trying to placate their screaming child with a giant chocolate bar. Those parents probably never thought they’d go down that road when they were just theoretical parents either.
Well, I’d better go feed the boy. I’d like to close with this…. YARRRR.
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