The forced feedings have paid off! At the appointment on Thursday, the boy weighed in at 9 lbs 13 oz. His cheeks are looking good and round, and he has that nice Michelin Man roll to this thighs. He still isn’t up to his birth weight, but that was a gain of 7 oz in 3 days! That’s a 4.67% increase in body weight in 3 days. That would be like a 200 lb man gaining 9 lbs in 3 days. If this trend continues, we can expect that by the end of the year Alexander will be a 200 lb man.
Instead of calling DHS, as feared, the doctor actually told us we were doing a “good job.” Tim and I were so taken aback by her praise that we asked her to repeat it several times, then write it down, then pantomime it, then contact the Daily Herald with an official press release. We don’t have to go back to the pediatrician until Alexander is one month old – which buys us two whole weeks left adrift to screw-up in the parenting department once more.
Now that he has a bottle or boob in his piehole every other hour, Alexander really is a very mellow little guy. He very rarely cries and mostly just likes to either sleep or stare at his parents staring at him. Or maybe I am mistaking mellow with exhausted. He isn’t allowed to sleep for more than an hour at a time in order to maintain this strict feeding schedule. (Neither are his parents.) We are hopeful that after the one-month appointment we will be told that we can cut back on feedings to once every 3 hours or so. Having two hours between feedings would make our brains hurt much less.
Alexander is getting larger and cuter everyday. Of course, as his mother I have serious bias. I even think even his farts are the greatest most wonderful thing in the world. So cuteness, size, and fartiness are all increasing daily. If this trend continues, he’ll be an Elmo Macy’s float within weeks. (That is gigantic, full of gas, and ridiculously adorable.) He is surprisingly strong too. We had him on his 'tummy time' mat yesterday and he managed to roll over. Well... was it a roll, or more just listing over and then landing on his back? Who knows... but we are calling it a milestone. I believe he is destined for a life in the 99th percentile.
Of course, as I type it is time for another feeding. 'Till next time...
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Theoretical parenting easier than actual parenting
Sorry for the dramatic pause between posts. Until we get a handle on the “OmigawdWeJustHadABaby” situation, the blog may be a bit neglected.
Alexander is doing adorably fine. Yar. He continues to be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. The pediatrician is concerned that he is ‘only’ 9 lbs 6 oz and not back up to his birthweight yet, so we have to feed him every 2 hours. The cause of poor weight gain? I was told my boobs are losers. That isn’t a direct quote, but that was the gist of it. I guess since I had so much physical trauma with the delivery, my Breastaurant is having a hard time keeping up with orders… so therefore when we feed him, we have to both breastfeed and supplement with formula.
Feeding every two hours means that is basically all we are accomplishing with our time. It takes about an hour to feed him (diaper change, breastfeeding on each side, then bottlefeeding). Then we have an hour to stare at the boy and wonder if we are already screwing him up. Then it is time to feed him again. We go in to the doctor tomorrow for another weigh-in, but if this doesn’t get his weight up I don’t know what will. I am considering adding some lead weights to his diaper just to get the doctor off our back.
As for me, I am getting stronger every day. I am now able to shower without passing out – so that’s a big accomplishment. I’ve deflated in a major way, so that is also exciting. I almost took a picture of my feet so you all could see the difference. They look almost bony compared to what they used to be. Also the swelling in my face, hands, and legs has almost totally disappeared. In fact, just 10 days after birth I had already lost 40 lbs – which is just a couple pounds shy of the total amount I gained in pregnancy. Obviously, this is just due to the swelling going away, but maybe I should take it as an opportunity to write a diet book. "How to Lose 40 Pounds in 10 Days" (Step 1: Get pregnant with giant baby. Step 2: Become pre-eclamptic and swell up like crazy. Step 3: Delivery giant baby and deflate.) (Not many diet books come with instructions on how to gain the weight you will lose on the diet... so maybe this is a whole new niche I can create.)
There are so many things it seems like we have already compromised on with our ‘good intentions’ on caring for the baby. For example, I never wanted to use formula or a bottle, but the doctor says it is necessary. Also, I never wanted to use a pacifer, but a bait-and-switch is sometimes the only way to get him to latch on. We also have the boy in disposable diapers, although I wanted to start using cloth right away – but the cloth diapers rub and irritate his umbilical cord so we have to wait on those. Theoretical parenting is so much easier than actual parenting. Ideals and good intentions sometimes have to get thrown out the window in the name of survival. Keep that in mind next time you find yourself shaking your head at some mom and dad at a mall trying to placate their screaming child with a giant chocolate bar. Those parents probably never thought they’d go down that road when they were just theoretical parents either.
Well, I’d better go feed the boy. I’d like to close with this…. YARRRR.
Alexander is doing adorably fine. Yar. He continues to be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. The pediatrician is concerned that he is ‘only’ 9 lbs 6 oz and not back up to his birthweight yet, so we have to feed him every 2 hours. The cause of poor weight gain? I was told my boobs are losers. That isn’t a direct quote, but that was the gist of it. I guess since I had so much physical trauma with the delivery, my Breastaurant is having a hard time keeping up with orders… so therefore when we feed him, we have to both breastfeed and supplement with formula.
Feeding every two hours means that is basically all we are accomplishing with our time. It takes about an hour to feed him (diaper change, breastfeeding on each side, then bottlefeeding). Then we have an hour to stare at the boy and wonder if we are already screwing him up. Then it is time to feed him again. We go in to the doctor tomorrow for another weigh-in, but if this doesn’t get his weight up I don’t know what will. I am considering adding some lead weights to his diaper just to get the doctor off our back.
As for me, I am getting stronger every day. I am now able to shower without passing out – so that’s a big accomplishment. I’ve deflated in a major way, so that is also exciting. I almost took a picture of my feet so you all could see the difference. They look almost bony compared to what they used to be. Also the swelling in my face, hands, and legs has almost totally disappeared. In fact, just 10 days after birth I had already lost 40 lbs – which is just a couple pounds shy of the total amount I gained in pregnancy. Obviously, this is just due to the swelling going away, but maybe I should take it as an opportunity to write a diet book. "How to Lose 40 Pounds in 10 Days" (Step 1: Get pregnant with giant baby. Step 2: Become pre-eclamptic and swell up like crazy. Step 3: Delivery giant baby and deflate.) (Not many diet books come with instructions on how to gain the weight you will lose on the diet... so maybe this is a whole new niche I can create.)
There are so many things it seems like we have already compromised on with our ‘good intentions’ on caring for the baby. For example, I never wanted to use formula or a bottle, but the doctor says it is necessary. Also, I never wanted to use a pacifer, but a bait-and-switch is sometimes the only way to get him to latch on. We also have the boy in disposable diapers, although I wanted to start using cloth right away – but the cloth diapers rub and irritate his umbilical cord so we have to wait on those. Theoretical parenting is so much easier than actual parenting. Ideals and good intentions sometimes have to get thrown out the window in the name of survival. Keep that in mind next time you find yourself shaking your head at some mom and dad at a mall trying to placate their screaming child with a giant chocolate bar. Those parents probably never thought they’d go down that road when they were just theoretical parents either.
Well, I’d better go feed the boy. I’d like to close with this…. YARRRR.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
We are pleased to introduce you to the new dominant blog content: Alexander Robert! Tim and I are shocked we were able to come up with such a cute baby. I swear, that isn’t just maternal bias… he really is obscenely adorable.
Here is a picture of him 14 minutes after birth…
He is just 14 minutes old, but his agent says he can play anywhere from newborn to 3 months. Here he is after getting swaddled in the latest hospital fashions:
Yarrrr!!
Anyway, here are his stats:
Birth date: Thursday August 14th , 8:15 pm
Weight: 9 lbs 15 oz (just an ounce shy of the 10 pound mark!)
Length: 20 1/2 inches
Distinguishing marks or tattoos: little cleft on his chin
Turn-ons: car rides, being rolled into a baby burrito (aka swaddling), snuggling, long walks on the beach
Turn-offs: hunger, time wasted blogging instead of snuggling
The birth wasn’t exactly what was anticipated… although I am sure almost every parent can say that. All that matters it that Alexander is extremely healthy and strong and we must have fooled the hospital staff into thinking we were competent parents because they let us take him home today.
Here is the Cliff Notes version: I was on the drugs for the induction and the anti-seizure medicine for about a day before it was determined that the contractions weren’t productive - so we went in for a c-section on Thursday night. Later in the night I began to hemorrhage quite severely. My blood pressure dropped and my hemoglobin and platelets also went down to worrying levels. For those that like medical data… the blood pressure went down to the area of 60/40 (after spiking at around 175/100 in the hours following the c-section), hemoglobin was 6 (I think they said 12 would be ‘good’), and the platelets were around 100,000 (which sounds like a lot, but I guess it isn’t as the nurse mentioned this number with some degree of alarm). Mmmm… data.
I’m thankful to have partial amnesia over what happened and I’ll certainly spare you the details of what I do remember. The bleeding was finally slowed down and I was eventually given a couple blood transfusions. After six days in the hospital, we were allowed to go home. I’m still very weak but taking lots of iron and should hopefully get my blood levels up to normal in the upcoming weeks. Now, I just wonder whose blood I have flowing through my veins? This situation has the potential for a twilight zone episode written all over it.
We may not update the blog for a little while as I am in a recovery mode (think of it as an extension of ‘load mode’). This pregnancy has been a bit of a drama magnet, so I guess it isn’t surprising that it went out with a bang. Again, all that matter’s now is our sweet little (sic) guy is here.
PS-- The kitties are quickly adjusting to the attention usurper. Bear meows in sympathy when Alexander cries. If you can’t handle ‘adorable’, you’d best stay away from our house these days.
PPS- Has anyone seen my cell phone? We think it got lost at the hospital. Oops.
PPS- Please forgive the typos and general loopiness of this post. (I have a reasonable excuse, and I’m going to use it for as long as possible.)
Here is a picture of him 14 minutes after birth…
He is just 14 minutes old, but his agent says he can play anywhere from newborn to 3 months. Here he is after getting swaddled in the latest hospital fashions:
Yarrrr!!
Anyway, here are his stats:
Birth date: Thursday August 14th , 8:15 pm
Weight: 9 lbs 15 oz (just an ounce shy of the 10 pound mark!)
Length: 20 1/2 inches
Distinguishing marks or tattoos: little cleft on his chin
Turn-ons: car rides, being rolled into a baby burrito (aka swaddling), snuggling, long walks on the beach
Turn-offs: hunger, time wasted blogging instead of snuggling
The birth wasn’t exactly what was anticipated… although I am sure almost every parent can say that. All that matters it that Alexander is extremely healthy and strong and we must have fooled the hospital staff into thinking we were competent parents because they let us take him home today.
Here is the Cliff Notes version: I was on the drugs for the induction and the anti-seizure medicine for about a day before it was determined that the contractions weren’t productive - so we went in for a c-section on Thursday night. Later in the night I began to hemorrhage quite severely. My blood pressure dropped and my hemoglobin and platelets also went down to worrying levels. For those that like medical data… the blood pressure went down to the area of 60/40 (after spiking at around 175/100 in the hours following the c-section), hemoglobin was 6 (I think they said 12 would be ‘good’), and the platelets were around 100,000 (which sounds like a lot, but I guess it isn’t as the nurse mentioned this number with some degree of alarm). Mmmm… data.
I’m thankful to have partial amnesia over what happened and I’ll certainly spare you the details of what I do remember. The bleeding was finally slowed down and I was eventually given a couple blood transfusions. After six days in the hospital, we were allowed to go home. I’m still very weak but taking lots of iron and should hopefully get my blood levels up to normal in the upcoming weeks. Now, I just wonder whose blood I have flowing through my veins? This situation has the potential for a twilight zone episode written all over it.
We may not update the blog for a little while as I am in a recovery mode (think of it as an extension of ‘load mode’). This pregnancy has been a bit of a drama magnet, so I guess it isn’t surprising that it went out with a bang. Again, all that matter’s now is our sweet little (sic) guy is here.
PS-- The kitties are quickly adjusting to the attention usurper. Bear meows in sympathy when Alexander cries. If you can’t handle ‘adorable’, you’d best stay away from our house these days.
PPS- Has anyone seen my cell phone? We think it got lost at the hospital. Oops.
PPS- Please forgive the typos and general loopiness of this post. (I have a reasonable excuse, and I’m going to use it for as long as possible.)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Adorable Truth
At the appointment yesterday, the doctor went Al Gore on me and pulled out some charts and graphs. As a dataphile, I was very excited… and as a mother, I was very proud. One graph displayed two solid parallel lines of increasing value over time, as well as a dotted line with a similar starting point but an even greater slope than the parallel lines. The doctor said “between these two lines is where we expect to see the curve for fetal growth. The dotted line, however, represents your baby.” The dotted line surpassed the two “normal kid range” lines sometime in the final two months of pregnancy. I was very proud. Then after thinking about what this really means for the immediate future, I said “my body wouldn’t grow a baby that is bigger than I can push out, right?” The doctor just laughed. Hmmm. All I can do is hope that Alexander has a well planned exit strategy.
We are still scheduled for beginning the induction Wednesday night. With any luck, Alexander will make his debut sometime on Thursday, August 14th. In the meantime, I had better start reading up on some specialized maternity and parenting books.
We are still scheduled for beginning the induction Wednesday night. With any luck, Alexander will make his debut sometime on Thursday, August 14th. In the meantime, I had better start reading up on some specialized maternity and parenting books.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Cheeky Monkey
We had an ultrasound today. As soon as the exam started the technician muttered under his breath “Whoa, that’s a big baby” so I knew Alexander had continued to pack on the pounds since we last saw him. Later, the tech noted he could see what he thought were “jowls” - so our boy may be gifted in the cheeks department. Yarrr…
I’d write more, but my hands are swelling out of their functionality. I feel like I am trying to type with oven mitts. Anyway, I just wanted to post the quick update that everything is going just fine and the boy continues to be 99th percentile in all of his endeavors thus far. I hope he won’t be afraid to come out due to setting the bar too high too early. It's gotta be tough to peak in life while still in the womb.
I’d write more, but my hands are swelling out of their functionality. I feel like I am trying to type with oven mitts. Anyway, I just wanted to post the quick update that everything is going just fine and the boy continues to be 99th percentile in all of his endeavors thus far. I hope he won’t be afraid to come out due to setting the bar too high too early. It's gotta be tough to peak in life while still in the womb.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Boy’s New ETA
The doctors have finished their round of fisticuffs and have finally agreed to disagree. With mild pre-eclampsia there are very few absolutes in treatment so every doctor has a different opinion on the best course of action. Most of these opinions are conflicting but equally valid. I have discovered that medicine is less a practice of science and more a practice of throwing darts at a Merck Manual.
Anyway, the dueling doctors compromised on a new induction date of August 13th. Until then, I’m back in my world of pee jugs, frequent doctor visits and tests, and trying to figure out how to give birth by watching A Baby Story on TLC (sic) and by googling “how to give birth”.
If Alexander shows any signs of problems, or if my condition worsens, they will move to deliver right away. Assuming we stay on course, we should have our boy here (‘for reals’ this time) on around August 14th. He will weigh about 32 lbs.
.
Anyway, the dueling doctors compromised on a new induction date of August 13th. Until then, I’m back in my world of pee jugs, frequent doctor visits and tests, and trying to figure out how to give birth by watching A Baby Story on TLC (sic) and by googling “how to give birth”.
If Alexander shows any signs of problems, or if my condition worsens, they will move to deliver right away. Assuming we stay on course, we should have our boy here (‘for reals’ this time) on around August 14th. He will weigh about 32 lbs.
.
Paging Doctor Drama...
I just spoke with my regular doctor. Evidently I have inadvertently stepped into a big pile of doctor drama. Ewww. Although Dr. Gobbles made it sound like my regular doctor was in agreement with postponing the induction, she evidently was not. In fact, she was surprised to show up at the hospital this morning to find nothing in our Labor and Delivery room but tumbleweed. (Tim forgot to re-pack the tumbleweed when we left.) She doesn’t agree with Dr. Gobble’s assessment of the situation and thinks delivery now is better than waiting for the pre-e or blood pressure to get worse.
I should note that she has been my doctor for many years prior to becoming pregnant, and has been my primary doctor throughout this pregnancy. She knows this pregnancy and this baby better than any other doctor. Also, unlike Dr. Gobbles, she has an ability to listen, make eye contact, and share relevant information. Needless to say, we trust her opinion above Dr. Gobbles.
At this time, we still don’t know exactly what is happening. My doctor is calling Dr. Gobbles and getting additional outside consultations. She’ll call me back sometime today with a game plan. So we could be heading back to the hospital soon, or we may be waiting a week… or two or three. In the meantime, we'll try to scrap this pile of doctor drama off the bottom of our shoes so we can walk around with some dignity.
On an adorable sidenote…Bear has decided that since we did not come home with a baby, as we told him we would, the bassinet must be his. He was curled up asleep in it this morning. Hopefully Alexander will arrive before Bear claims all of his stuff.
I should note that she has been my doctor for many years prior to becoming pregnant, and has been my primary doctor throughout this pregnancy. She knows this pregnancy and this baby better than any other doctor. Also, unlike Dr. Gobbles, she has an ability to listen, make eye contact, and share relevant information. Needless to say, we trust her opinion above Dr. Gobbles.
At this time, we still don’t know exactly what is happening. My doctor is calling Dr. Gobbles and getting additional outside consultations. She’ll call me back sometime today with a game plan. So we could be heading back to the hospital soon, or we may be waiting a week… or two or three. In the meantime, we'll try to scrap this pile of doctor drama off the bottom of our shoes so we can walk around with some dignity.
On an adorable sidenote…Bear has decided that since we did not come home with a baby, as we told him we would, the bassinet must be his. He was curled up asleep in it this morning. Hopefully Alexander will arrive before Bear claims all of his stuff.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Scheduled Delivery of Boy Cancelled
We had already been at the hospital getting some initial testing and monitoring done when Dr. Gobbles walks in and asks how we are doing. I say “we’re looking forward to getting the show on the road.” He says “Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about…”
Rut-roh.
As it turns out, the doctors and some “MFM”s (maternal fetal medicine specialists) had a pow-wow and decided that since I am so stable we should wait a bit longer before inducing. How long? I have no idea. I just know that we are now back home, disoriented, and staring a both my big belly and our empty bassinet. How’s that for an anticlimax?
We don’t know exactly what is going on or when the baby is going to be delivered. But we will keep you posted. For now, the boy is running what feels to be a few victory laps in the womb. I think he is happy he has been given an extension on his lease.
Rut-roh.
As it turns out, the doctors and some “MFM”s (maternal fetal medicine specialists) had a pow-wow and decided that since I am so stable we should wait a bit longer before inducing. How long? I have no idea. I just know that we are now back home, disoriented, and staring a both my big belly and our empty bassinet. How’s that for an anticlimax?
We don’t know exactly what is going on or when the baby is going to be delivered. But we will keep you posted. For now, the boy is running what feels to be a few victory laps in the womb. I think he is happy he has been given an extension on his lease.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Ready or Not, Here He Comes
Alexander continues to skew the curve. At his biophysical profile yesterday they found he is measuring 3 weeks ahead and weighs about 8 lbs 3 oz. Zoinks! Hopefully, with some good parenting, we can persuade him to use his superpowers for good instead of evil.
Only three more days to go. Good thing, because my clumsy potato hands have gone tempur-pedic. I’ll almost miss making dent-designs on my appendages as a form of entertainment. Almost. OK, it is more creepy than entertaining… but it passes the time.
So, there may be a dramatic pause in blog entries for a little while. We'll be a bit tied up starting Wednesday with the hoo-hoo-hoo-heeee (that's lamaze breathing. Can you believe it? Not a single lesson!) But stay tuned and I’ll try to post a picture of the latest version of Nicola before he graduates high school.
Only three more days to go. Good thing, because my clumsy potato hands have gone tempur-pedic. I’ll almost miss making dent-designs on my appendages as a form of entertainment. Almost. OK, it is more creepy than entertaining… but it passes the time.
So, there may be a dramatic pause in blog entries for a little while. We'll be a bit tied up starting Wednesday with the hoo-hoo-hoo-heeee (that's lamaze breathing. Can you believe it? Not a single lesson!) But stay tuned and I’ll try to post a picture of the latest version of Nicola before he graduates high school.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Dr. Gobbles Strikes Again
I had an NST today… but I couldn’t tell you how it went because Dr. Gobbles isn’t one to share information. I also don’t know how the bloodwork and latest pee-jug looked. Dr. Gobbles has a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach to communicating with patients. Also a “don’t make eye contact, don’t speak at an audible decibel level” approach. When Dr. Gobbles does want to share information, he treats it like lighting a firecracker. He quickly blurts out alarming and confusing statements and then runs for cover. Nice.
I don’t want to sound completely unsympathetic to how he handles what is, I am sure, a very stressful job. And I appreciate that having to look at women’s…um… Georgia O'Keeffes … all day can do strange things to a man’s disposition. But Dr. Gobbles is in serious need of some remedial coursework in bedside manners.
I think he gets away with it because he employs a very disarming look. This is a good strategy for anyone who wants to be a jerk and get away with it. There are many to choose from – confused old man, big-eyed innocent child, slightly injured bunny… Dr. Gobbles has gone with the classic “big teddy bear” look. He’s well over 6 feet tall, 300+ lbs, and covered in hair – including a face-encompassing beard. This could be an imposing look if not for his big bright eyes peering through his facial fur. It sounds strange, but the look works for him.
(file photo of Dr. Gobbles, date unknown)
The other thing that helps him get away with a horrible bedside manner is that women hate to shop around for an OB/GYN. Many will stubbornly stick with the first person they pick off their insurance list just to avoid stirrup-time tryouts with a new physician. Most of us would prefer to keep a very short list of people who have seen us assume such a position…
Alright, I’m done venting. I swear. Hopefully that will be my last time seeing Dr. Gobbles anyway. I have a biophysical tomorrow, so I’ll give all you blogophiles out there an update on the boy’s latest stats then. (Yes, all two of you.)
Only five more days before Alexander is served his eviction notice!!!
I don’t want to sound completely unsympathetic to how he handles what is, I am sure, a very stressful job. And I appreciate that having to look at women’s…um… Georgia O'Keeffes … all day can do strange things to a man’s disposition. But Dr. Gobbles is in serious need of some remedial coursework in bedside manners.
I think he gets away with it because he employs a very disarming look. This is a good strategy for anyone who wants to be a jerk and get away with it. There are many to choose from – confused old man, big-eyed innocent child, slightly injured bunny… Dr. Gobbles has gone with the classic “big teddy bear” look. He’s well over 6 feet tall, 300+ lbs, and covered in hair – including a face-encompassing beard. This could be an imposing look if not for his big bright eyes peering through his facial fur. It sounds strange, but the look works for him.
(file photo of Dr. Gobbles, date unknown)
The other thing that helps him get away with a horrible bedside manner is that women hate to shop around for an OB/GYN. Many will stubbornly stick with the first person they pick off their insurance list just to avoid stirrup-time tryouts with a new physician. Most of us would prefer to keep a very short list of people who have seen us assume such a position…
Alright, I’m done venting. I swear. Hopefully that will be my last time seeing Dr. Gobbles anyway. I have a biophysical tomorrow, so I’ll give all you blogophiles out there an update on the boy’s latest stats then. (Yes, all two of you.)
Only five more days before Alexander is served his eviction notice!!!
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