Sometimes the right halloween costume finds YOU.

That’s why bub made the perfect:


CAPTAIN KIRK!!!










Set phasers on yar.



Yar.

Bub Salutes Beals

Alexander discovered he can slip out of his shirt. He's ready for his Flashdance audition!

Blog Delays Caused By Act of God

Well, Tim and I also had something to do with it.

I haven’t been posting much lately because I’ve been pretty sick for the last couple months. I haven’t been sick with something trendy like Swine Flu, or something retro chic like Black Death, or even something embarrassingly out of style like Mad Cow Disease. No. I’ve been sick the last couple of months because of (this is my John McCain impression) “That One!” (see below)



OK. That picture didn’t really clarify anything. I’m pregnant! The blob in the above picture is Bean, and we’ll get to meet him or her around April 18, 2010. (Bean is the current name placeholder which will hopefully be replaced with a more dignified name soon.) We are, of course beyond thrilled. In fact, I’m so excited I could puke. Ug… excuse me.

…

*sound of toilet flushing*

…

Right. I’m back. So, yeah, I’ve been sick - down with the hardcore and questionably named morning sickness. I had it bad enough that my doctor prescribed some drugs for me that are used by chemo patients. Of course, I get a second opinion on all medical advice from my favorite instant and sometimes misinformed doctor, Dr. Google. (Hey, he’s free and he makes house calls.) According to Dr. Goggle, the drug I was prescribed is indeed used for severe nausea, but it is actually in a class of anti-psychotics drugs. Yeah, my doctor gave me anti-psychotic drugs. In both pill and suppository form in case I couldn’t keep down the pills. How many people can say they have anti-psychotic suppositories in their medicine cabinet? While I enjoyed the chemical lobotomy, these pills never really helped. But, at least I feel a little less crazy.

Tim has had to step up the Mr. Mom’ing on days when I'm not functional. He even has had to help at night a few times, a domain that was exclusively mine up until now. I don't think he had any idea that Alexander still wakes up at night or that when he sleeps, he tosses and turns so violently. (Alexander unfortunately takes after me and my dad when it comes to sleeping, or the lack thereof.) Tim's is one of those creative types that sincerely requires sleep. In fact, no sleep makes TIM MAAAAAD!!!!



He says you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry… but, let’s be honest...everyone likes Tim no matter what his mood. The above is a bit of an exaggeration (I just wanted to use a picture from a previous post due to it's craptacular hilarity). Any potential Bill-Bixby-turn-Lou-Ferrigno-ian rage has been contained thanks to slipping a few anti-psychotics in his beverage. Mu-hahaha!

OK... the truth (that will surprise no one reading this blog) is that Tim is an awesome and patient dad. I think Tim and Alexander are both enjoying the extra time together. It's quite yarry. Tim has stepped in and saved Alexander from days of being contained in front of the TV (*gag*) while I hover over a toliet (*more gagging*). Good work, Tim. You deserve a thumbs up from a freakishly long thumb. Enjoy:





Even though I am not quite 14 weeks along, I’ve begun to feel little flutters. With Alexander I didn’t feel any movement until 16 weeks, but I’ve heard that you often feel things much earlier with your second. So that has been reassuring to feel that Bean has weathered this morning sickness just fine. (Or else s/he is in there going *knock knock knock* “Helllooooo? Something other than saltines, please! I’m developing a very complex cardio-vascular system in here. Need food. Hellllooooo?”)

In bubby news, Alexander just turned 14 months. I just say he is “one” in everyday conversation because, really, when does the madness end? Will I be throwing him a “Sweet 192th Month” birthday party? Anyway, he is being his amazing and hilarious self. He is enjoying bipedalism as his preferred method of locomotion, confirming beyond a shadow of doubt that he is indeed a Homo sapien. He still walks with that slightly off-kilter toddler gait that is so endearing. He’s learned the sounds of a few letters and a few animals. He’s learned a few new words. So he’ll have a lot of tricks to teach his little brother or sister someday soon.

"What sound does a lazy blogger make?"

the answer is this:


Anyhoo...Alexander has mastered some sounds that he'd like to share with you. It gets cut off, but the first question I asked him was "What sound does a lion make?" Crank up your sound and enjoy.



As much as he loves acting he really wants to direct. Unfortunately, his attempts to get behind the camera resulted in extremely shakey footage that looks like it belongs in Cloverfield. Mmmm...nauseating.

And here's the bub enjoying his wagon and looking rather pleased with himself:

Good-Bye Old Lady Chic… hello, Middle Aged Lady Chic.

Once again our house is filled with men and tools. They are remodeling the upstairs bathroom. Most importantly, they are installing a tub (just in time -- we can only put about a cup of water in the baby bathtub before Alexander overflows it with his giganticness.) They also ripped out the carpeting and are installing tile. Who puts carpet in a bathroom? Well, I’ve watched enough episodes of HGTV's “Save My Bath” to know that carpet in a bathroom is ALWAYS a “before” and never an “after”.

We are not working with the same contractor that did our basement. (No surprise there. While we like to be loyal, we aren’t insane.) The new contractor is awesome. He shows up on time. His crew is friendly and hasn’t said one bad thing about their boss. We know the price of everything up front. He hasn’t once been condescending… although we have certainly given him ample opportunity for sarcasm. He’s…just… awesome. His competence brings a tear to my eye.

Hopefully in a few weeks I’ll have “after” pictures… but in the meantime, here are some “before” pictures:

Can’t decide between a floral design and stripes? Why not both!


Someone actually said, presumably while sober, “You know what this bathroom needs? A purple ceiling!”


And that same person said “Who wants cold tile when you can have plush carpeting? It’s totally worth the inevitable mold problems! In fact, I love mold!”



Goodbye, ugly bathroom… enjoy bathroom heaven. (Or should I say, enjoy Bed, Bath and BEYOND? Oh… I’m funny. *sigh*)

Novelty-size Praying Mantis Visits

This guy (er… gal) has been hanging around a lot lately. At about four or five or twenty inches long, and a jaw the size of my pinky finger tip, maybe I’m the one that should be praying.



I don't know how he got stuck between the window and the screen. It is possible he was born and raised there. It's sort of horrifying to think how many insects must live in the space between the screen and the window to support this insanely large praying mantis.

If you live on a lake you gotta expect a few insects that look like they belong in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade to float by. Cool but … ew.

Party Tricks

A few weeks ago, we discovered Alexander knows where his nose is. If you ask him, "where's your nose?" he grabs your hand and touches his nose with your fingertips. He’s gotta be like 90th percentile for nose-location-ability… but keep in mind that Tim has been telling Alexander where his nose is from day one. We just never thought to ask him if the lesson sank in until recently.

I also discovered about eight times out of ten he can identify the right picture given a choice of two. He knows some cards better than others, though. Here's what I mean...



I guess kids this age can understand a lot more than they can say. So consider this fair warning to watch what you say around the boy. He could be keeping a mental log of everything you say, just waiting for the most embarrassing moment possible to repeat it.


He often surprises me with what he says … For example, I showed him a letter “A” and said “what’s this?” And he said (I swear it) “A!”. He looked at one of his favorite books and pointed to a picture of Elmo and said (I swear it) “Elmo.” Are these just random firing of his mouth that happen to say the right thing at the right time? Maybe. To be fair, he says a LOT of things. He just looked at me right now and said “Booo-weee-DOH!” So… um, who knows. But I'm signing off so I can finish eating this burrito.

Breakfast of Goofballs

Alexander gets a bit goofy when he is tired. OK... that's an understatement...



Don't worry, he recovered from his head bump quickly, and went back to laughing like a tiny crazy person.

A few more steps…

Alexander is getting a bit more confident with his walking. Here he is toddling to grandma:




Our house looks like a Fisher-Price tornado blew through. Please ignore the clutter and focus on the yar.

He Knows Comedy